On living with curly lightbulbs

There they go… aren’t they cute? Look at the mismatched plaid; and do you think she knows she’s wearing those colours together? They are SO cute!

Yup, that’s where we’re headed, my first husband and I.

It occurred to me this week when I hauled my navy blue dress slacks out of the closet. Turned on the closet light first… one of those eco bulbs that uses practically no watts. Thought they were navy. Not the bulbs, the pants. But maybe not. Maybe they’re black. It matters because if they’re navy then I need a dark blue sweater; if they’re black, well, you know.

I head out to the kitchen which even has a window to the outside world. Flip on the kitchen light… 3 curly bulbs in a fan up at the ceiling and natural light coming in the window. Still can’t tell. Navy or black. I go to find my cheaters.

Still can’t tell.

The litmus test is usually to put the colour you think it is up next to the clothing item and see if they seem to go together. Back into the bedroom. Flip on the curly bulb again… these things seem really dim when you first turn them on… but, then again, maybe it’s me. Open the drawer. Is this a navy sweater, or a black one? Can’t tell.

Back to the kitchen. Where are my cheaters? 2.5 strength. Next to the window. Hmmm. Hold the sweater up against the slacks. Can’t tell. The sweater seems to be blue; the pants seem to be black. I go and get a black sweater and black socks to wear. Only 7 trips back and forth from bedroom to kitchen and finally I’m ready. Not to leave, mind you. Just to get dressed! I want you to know my first husband has been no help so far… he thinks every single clothing item is dark blue.

Anyway, back to the bathroom. Finish with makeup… takes a lot longer to do that, too. Curly bulbs in bathroom, one on each side of the mirror, so it should be enough. Hello face; you’re taking a little longer these days.

Now, clothes. Now briefcase and dress coat (black, to match my slacks and sweater) and out the door to my first meeting.

Car is dark blue. Car is outside under natural sun. No curly bulbs out here.

So there I am, sitting at my first meeting of many that day and I look down and realize I’m wearing navy slacks, black sweater, black socks, black boots, black coat, navy gloves. Grrrrrr. This is when the phrase ‘cute’ starts to resonate in my subconscious. This is when I start to see my future flash before my eyes.

I’ll likely wake up, grab the first thing in the closet, add the first thing from a drawer, team it up with the first multi-coloured jacket I find and, voila! There I am. Ready to go!

It’s the curly bulbs! I’m doomed.

I should have chosen grey. That’s much easier. Still, I think they’re going to say we’re cute!