Global Warming gets a boost!
I'm certainly a believer when it comes to the immediate
threat to our planet
of Global Warming. After hearing Al Gore and watching the incredible
supporting graphics offered through An Inconvenient Truth, I was swayed.
When the film ended with Melissa Etheridge's title song, written especially
for the film and bearing the same name... well, I was convinced.
As our family continues to make change in our impact on the planet,
it
occurs to me that the scientists and environmentalists, politicians
and rock
stars might have missed two key causes.
Never before have we had so many women approaching middle age on this
continent. As the impact of the Second World War continues to play itself
out, the boom of children born post war is now approaching middle and
retirement age. We all know this.
If my friends (and myself) are any example, the past decade of heat
waves
have, all by themselves, made a hefty contribution. Millions of women
are
overheating. We're layering our way through the day, starting with a
Tshirt, adding a long sleeved Tshirt, then perhaps a vest, then a sweater.
And all day long we remove and add these items as our temps go up and
down.
My friend Linda, so eternally cold that my Christmas gifts are always
mohair
socks, lambswool mitts, scarves, fleece comforters, etc., called recently.
A few years younger than the rest of us, she registered absolute shock
at
her first 'flash.' "I mean, what WAS that?" she was querulous.
"I felt like
I'd been put in a microwave, turned on high and absolutely burning on
the
inside while my outside skin is cool to the touch. This is inhumane,"
she
moaned.
I've noted that now that she's no longer cold, she's much more interested
in
the complexities of our own personal global warming indicators.
I always try to catch CBC news and I really admire the insight and
articulate expression of Chantal Hébert. Her analysis is potent
and she
joins her fellow analysts regularly to comment on political items. I
felt
somewhat relieved recently when I watched her neck, then her chin, then
her
face turn the brilliant purple that I'm usually battling. It even happens
to news folks... and that's really unfair!
And so, as my generation contributes unwillingly to Global Warming,
we'd
happily adopt a cooler pattern of living. As the scientists head back
into
their laboratories, perhaps they might put their minds to this...
Surely it could be recaptured, siphoned off to heat a few schools,
the local
hospital? Several million of us would appreciate it.
And my second Global Warming theory?
Emails.
"I sent it." "I didn't get it."
Trillions and trillions of junk emails, spam, lost emails that never
reached
their destination, rejected emails, misdirected emails... they're all
out
there somewhere, even after we hit the 'delete' key. Where are they?
What do they look like? Do they wiggle? Do they stay in the frequencies
that started their journey or have they just spun off into space, floating
aimlessly, hoping they recognize a url they can attach themselves to?
I know a fellow who can't bear to store, sort, file, categorize, or
catalogue his emails. Every single email he has ever received is still
sitting in his 'in' box. At least he doesn't have to feel guilty about
contributing to the overwhelming burden our technology is placing on
our
world. Heck, he can just measure his energy as his cursor roams up and
down, mindlessly looking for a price quote he sent in 2005.
Now, if the lost or deviant emails could just link up with the personal
GW's
our women are creating, perhaps they too could head off into cyber space
and
jack the world temperature up another notch. At least the female gender
could put away its fans, close the car windows in February, find winter
coats they haven't worn since 1993--that sort of thing!
Not a bad concept when you come to think of it. And that would be a
Convenient Truth!
Donna Douglas is a Barrie writer. You can reach her at
donna@donnadouglas.com
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